


Edith Piaf (Said It Better Than Me)

by Magpiedance



Series: Wounded Mockingbird [2]
Category: Far Cry 5
Genre: Ambiguous Deputy (Far Cry), Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Dubcon Kissing, Group Sex, Other, Sibling Incest, emotional blackmail
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-27
Updated: 2018-04-27
Packaged: 2019-04-28 10:51:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14447742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Magpiedance/pseuds/Magpiedance
Summary: You want to leave, but you also want to stay.





	Edith Piaf (Said It Better Than Me)

**Author's Note:**

> _'je ne regrette rien'_
> 
> _pretty song_
> 
> _but not intended for me_
> 
> _-_
> 
> (This should be considered only a possible outcome to ['A Gentle Awakening'](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14395635) and not an official part 2. It's like a fanfic of a fanfic, even if that sounds pretentious as shit.)

Even Jacob believes the end is coming, and you can tell he's not convinced that the voice Joseph hears is God's.

You find Joseph in the kitchen cutting vegetables with John leaning against the counter talking about the logistics of long term food storage between taking large bites out of an apple.

“You are taking people, aren't you? Eden's Gate,” you say. You're tired of being told not to worry about it.

They freeze. John carefully swallows a mouthful of fruit and Joseph hesitates before turning to face you.

“Yes, we are.” Joseph admits, plainly.

John starts to say something but Joseph holds a hand up to silence him.

“You may not believe it, but we are saving them,” he continues. “We only want what's best for them, and for you.”

“You think the world is ending,” you say. It's not a question.

Joseph smiles self-consciously.

“I could tell you that God revealed it to me, but I don't think that would convince you.”

You say nothing, and he nods.

“You feel it though, don't you? You see the world today, and you think to yourself ' _my god, what is happening_?' You can't just close your eyes and hope it will get better somehow. We have to act, I hope you can understand that.”

You cross your arms. He's not wrong but it scares you that he doesn't understand why that doesn't matter. Why that doesn't make it right.

“Would you really let me go?” You ask. You have been fearing the answer to this question since the moment you opened your eyes after the crash. “Say I don't believe and I want to just walk out of here and away from all this. Would you let me?”

Joseph hesitates. That's your answer in itself.

John thuds his fist in frustration on the counter-top.

“Even if he would; I wouldn't.” He snaps, bitterly.

Joseph says “John,” and John says “No! No. I won't. I won't let you be taken from us again. Not this time.”

You turn and walk out of the kitchen, needing some space.

You hear Joseph telling John “No, let them be.”

You find Jacob sitting on the porch outside. You hadn't known he was here. You feel a little awkward seeing him after the last time he stayed at the Ranch overnight and had a night-terror that woke the entire building. You'll never forget the way he looked straight through you as if you weren't there. As if all the ghosts of his past had come to haunt him at once.

Faith had spoken softly to him, and taken him back to his bed. You hadn't been able to fall back to sleep, after.

Jacob notices you and puts down the report he was reading.

“Oh, how are you, are you well?” He asks, seemly not sure what he should say.

You offer him a weak half-smile. It's the best you can do under the circumstances.

“I don't think I really belong here,” you admit to him. Of all your new family you get the sense that he's the one who will understand that.

He nods, grimly.

“It must seem extreme, to you. What we're doing,” he agrees.

“Can I just... see the others?” You beg. “I just- I need to know they're okay.”

Jacob sits back in his seat and runs his hand anxiously through his hair.

“That's not a good idea.” He says. “They'll fill your head with their bullshit and it's not going to help you understand what we're trying to do here any better.”

“This isn't right,” you insist, quietly. “You can't force people to do what you want.”

He shifts uncomfortably in his seat.

“I know it's hard to see it now,” he starts. “But in the end, when they're safe, and alive, because of us; they will thank us.”

He looks at you, and he seems sad.

“You will too. When you realise that we're right. That Joseph is right.”

You sit down on the wooden decking and bury your face in your hands. You don't know what you should do. Out of sight you know that cult members are patrolling the perimeter of the vast grounds. Even if you had any idea where to go, if you tried to leave and got caught you might lose your brothers' trust forever.

Jacob pats you gingerly on the back, like he's not sure he's allowed.

When you walk back inside Joseph says nothing but presses his forehead to yours then pulls you into a desperate hug. You wish you could make him understand. You wish you could eat his madness and free him from it. You wish a lot of things.

John feigns indifference initially but as the night wears on he loosens up and before you retire to bed he wraps his arms around you from behind.

“I just don't want to lose you,” he says. “We only just got you back.”

You turn and bury your face in his shoulder. Despite how little time you've known him you've come to care a great deal for him. For all of them.

“I don't want to lose you either,” you say, and it's the truth.

You're woken from your sleep by the sound of violent thrashing from the next room. Jacob's room. Faith isn't here tonight, so you steel yourself and creep into the hallway. You call his name through the door in a hushed tone, mindful not to wake the others.

You hear nothing in return so you open the door just a crack. You call out to him again in the darkness.

For a moment you think it was a false alarm but then a strong arm lunges out of the darkness and pulls you into the room. You are pinned against the wall with a hand over your mouth.

“Shh,” he says, “shhhh.”

You can just barely make out his features by the light from the hallway. His eyes are wild; seeking out enemies in the dark. You search your mind urgently to remember what Faith had done. You touch him gently on the chest, and with your other hand pull his massive bear paw away from your mouth.

“It's okay,” you whisper softly, feeling faintly ridiculous comforting this massive grown man. “It's okay. You're safe.”

He starts muttering, “No, no, no, they're all around, we have to- we have to-”

You stroke his arms and speak to him in soothing tones.

“There's no one there. You're safe. You're home. I'm here. You're okay.”

Little by little he starts to untense. His breathing evens out and he sags into your touch.

He calls you 'Faith' and you say “No, it's me,” but you're not sure he heard you. He heaves a sigh and leans on you. He's so big his body covers yours entirely.

“You're okay,” you say again, grateful to have Faith's example to follow. “You should go back to bed now.”

He nods but doesn't move and you have to gently push him towards the bed. He allows you to manage him, thankfully, and flops heavily down onto the mattress. You start to pull the blankets back over him when he stops you.

“Wait,” he says. “Just... wait.”

You wait.

He doesn't say anything more and for a second you think he's fallen back asleep.

Then he pulls you down on top of him by the arm.

“ _Jacob_ ” you say, but he rolls you both until you're under him, pinned by his body and by his mouth on yours. You make a noise of protest which he cuts off by kissing you more deeply, more desperately, and you find yourself helpless to do anything but hold onto him. Eventually he needs to come up for air and he rests his head on your shoulder, the heavy weight of his body trapping you in place. He begins snoring almost immediately, leaving you alone with your thoughts.

Not alone.

You startle when you realise Joseph is standing in the doorway, watching. You panic, try remember how to speak, to explain, but the look on his face isn't one of disgust. It's consideration.

Your mouth opens and closes and no words come out.

Joseph whispers “Thank you for taking care of him. Good night,” and closes the door.

You manage to extricate yourself from Jacob's grip before morning, much to your relief, though not before spending most of the night in his arms. He let out a stressed whine from time to time, and clutched you tighter, but he didn't get out of bed again. You did not want to explain to him what you were doing in his bed if had woken with you still there.

When you go down for breakfast Joseph has an affected nonchalance about him. You don't see John around so you swallow your nervousness and try to talk to him about the night before.

He stops you immediately.

“It's okay,” he says. “There's no need to explain.”

Then he looks at you meaningfully. “We _all_ love you, you know.”

Before you can respond his hand is on the back of your head and he draws you in for a kiss himself. You're too shocked to stop him. By the time you pull your thoughts together enough to even consider pushing him away he has already deepened the kiss and then you can't seem to think of much of anything.

When he finally pulls away you are left dewy-eyed and full of conflicting emotions. You want, but shouldn't want. You need, but can't need.

Then Joseph looks over your shoulder and says “It's okay, John.”

And you close your eyes. Because _of course._

You aren't given a moment to recover before John's arms are sliding around you from behind and he pressing kisses to your cheek, your neck, your shoulder, your ear. Sandwiched between two of your brothers you can't decide if you want this moment to last forever or if you'd prefer the universe to swallow you whole. Joseph in front of you closes his eyes and draws his forehead to yours, simply content to breathe in the same air as you and bask in the intimacy of proximity. John's cock is a hard line pressing into your backside; he is _so very into_ this turn of events.

The creak of footsteps coming down the stair breaks you out of whatever madness gripped you, and you slip out from between them and quickstep your way to the breakfast table.

Jacob ruffles your hair before sitting down next to you. You wouldn't have imagined that you'd be so relieved by his presence so soon after last night's happenings. John looks like he wants to say something but Joseph gives him a _look_ and he relents.

Understandably, there is a weird atmosphere through breakfast.

John leaves early and Faith shows up and steals his plate. She gives Jacob a strange look.

“You seem well-rested,” she observes.

He says, “Yeah, I guess,” but his expression suggests there's something he's trying to remember and you half-choke yourself trying to change the subject around a mouthful of food. You stand up suddenly and tell some stupid joke about penguins. Faith and Jacob share matching looks that suggest they think you've lost your mind but Joseph chuckles knowingly and says “Delightful,” with a playful smile.

You spend most of the day outdoors. You can't go far without Joseph's men looming menacingly at you so you climb a tree instead. You refuse to come down for lunch.

Joseph stands at the foot of the tree with his hands on his hips looking exasperated.

You say “Just leave it there, I'll eat in a bit.”

Joseph gives you a _look_ that communicates his disapproval of your childish behaviour, but he does what you ask and leaves a sandwich and some fruit on the roots of the tree before leaving for the afternoon.

You don't come down, though.

You stay in the tree and stare into the middle distance until it gets dark. You had hoped that some time to think would clear your head but it hasn't helped.

You're pretty sure a bird ate your sandwich.

Hungry and chilled and still filled with existential anguish you finally trail your way back indoors.

John being the only one around practically bounces out of his seat to greet you. You tell him about the bird/sandwich debacle and he laughs and takes you to the kitchen where he makes you a new sandwich then sensually kisses your neck while you awkwardly try to eat it around him.

He's hard again, pressed against you. You say his name softly and he embraces you tightly saying “You won't leave us, will you?”

You don't know what to tell him, you don't. So you put down what's left of your dinner and hook your arms around his neck and kiss him back with all the love and enthusiasm you can muster. You need him to know that it isn't about him. That your doubts, your disbelief, it doesn't mean you don't love him.

Headlights flash across the kitchen window and you hear the unmistakeable rumble of Jacob's jeep pulling into the driveway.

John pulls back with a sigh. He looks at you, eyes serious.

“Tonight,” he says, and you nod.

You hadn't expected to see Jacob back so soon, he's not stayed two nights in a row before now. Joseph is with him. Jacob has a strange expression when he looks at you which leads you to think you don't want to know what they talked about.

John cooks dinner for the four of you. He's a surprisingly good chef. His meals have more flair than Joseph's simple cooking anyway.

Dinner conversation steers away from heavy topics with Joseph mainly telling you stories about the jobs he took while looking for you and your brothers. John's leg brushes against yours under the table too often to be an accident and you try not to blush when you think about what he expects from you.

Jacob is as laconic as he was when he first met you.

That night John comes to your room and undresses you, silently. You've never seen him look so serious. He hovers a hand over your naked flesh and makes a needy sound when you lean into his touch.

He doesn't turn around when the door opens and Joseph steps inside with Jacob in tow.

Joseph doesn't react to your nudity, though Jacob doesn't know where to look. Joseph holds his hands out to you and you take them.

“God always meant for us to be together,” he says, and he doesn't say ' _not like this'._

Your brothers make love to you.

They are gentle and rough and hard and soft and intense and jovial and so full of passion for your body.

Their three mouths and six hands find every part of you. You are stroked and petted and pulled and bitten. Their fingers find their way inside of you from either end, and then _they_ are inside of you. Only one at first, then you open your mouth and there are two. At your peak all three are on you at once and you feel held, loved, caged, and utterly utterly _fucked_.

John can't keep his hands from you. Even when he isn't pushing into you himself his hands find you where you are most sensitive and he cannot seem to get enough of the sounds he pulls from you.

Joseph presses tender kisses to your face, your stomach, the curve of your backside. For a man of god he is more than willing to put his mouth to the most obscene uses on you. When his brothers take their use of you he twines your fingers with his and hums wordlessly to you.

Jacob seems pained throughout. The only one with any shame. He cannot seem to believe that he's allowed to have this, to have you. He touches you with such reverence that it seems like he's worried he might taint you somehow. Like he's so broken that he thinks he might break you too.

When at last you collapse sweating and sated into the sheets there isn't enough room for the four of you to lay together. Joseph, ever the martyr, pulls the armchair from the corner to your bedside and props his feet up on the matress, leaving John and Jacob curled around you on either side.

In the morning John has the energy to take you again, while Jacob showers and Joseph prepares breakfast. It seems that the night before was a singular event and while they are content to share you, not at the same time. Not in the light of day, anyhow.

You leave John in bed and go downstairs where Joseph pours you a coffee.

“It's just...” he starts, carefully.

You have never heard him sound unsure before, so he has your full attention.

He puts down the coffee pot and sits, not quite looking at you.

“If you were to try to leave,” he clarifies. “It's not that I would stop you, although I would want to. And it isn't that John would stop you, though I'm sure he would try. And Jacob- he does not think he deserves to have you.”

Joseph smiles nervously.

“I know you do not believe this, but God would not let you go.”

There it is.

“Whatever you may think, he would not let you leave us. This is his plan. And I am so, _so,_ afraid of what lengths he would go to; to make you stay.”

You take his hand. You're sure he believes it. It no longer matters. Whether it is right or not. You couldn't bring yourself to leave them now.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Holy shit it is so hard to write sex between four people when you can't say what kind of genitals one of them has. [Edith Piaf (Said It Better Than Me)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v5jtqCo43WM) by Sparks.


End file.
